Heartfulness is Mindfulness

ICYMI: It is our moral obligation to cultivate joy. Often when others are suffering, we feel guilt and shame for tending to our own gardens. As if we should be suffering too. Unsure of what to do. But if all we are doing is feeling miserable, digesting traumatic content, and nothing else—not boycotting, not letter writing, not donating, not protesting, not speaking up, not contributing to the Greater Good (however that is)—then we are contributing to the suffering. Our thoughts and actions are like dominoes, like the butterfly effect—what we share of ourselves affects those around us. Our energy expands.

What we can do is contribute to our communities. We can engage in mutual aid. We can act to alleviate suffering even if we feel we are unable to alleviate the most extreme or heinous suffering.

The key is to know what we are doing. It’s to have clarity on how we are serving.

You might be providing care or compassion through volunteering, through your job if you’re in a helper position, through what you write, what you say, and how you behave. If your career involves lifting others up, if you are supporting a caregiver or an activist and you are doing so with love—your energy is directed toward alleviating suffering. If you are speaking up, writing your representatives, standing up for your values—you are directing compassion toward humanity. There is not one person who can alleviate the suffering of humanity alone. We are all part of the path. The key is clarity and awareness. Know your service. Tend your own garden. Experience joy. Experience living. 

Now is also a time to reflect on and reclaim Audre Lorde’s definition of self-care as resistance. It’s not about a fancy face mask. It’s about taking care of ourselves (true CARE—rest, recovery, nourishment, groundedness, hydration, heartfulness), so that we have the energy and moral clarity and mental space to help others and contribute to The Work. For inspiration follow the Nap Ministry.

I’ve developed several packages that include a mix of coaching sessions. There is no one-size-fits-all method for cultivating mindfulness and nurturing clarity. It would be an honor to work alongside you to create your own unique mindful routine for manifesting your intentions.

The benefits for you are that: 

💞Venus and Jupiter are conjunct! It’s a magical moment. Venus, planet of beauty, harmony, connection, creativity, and love slid into Cancer July 30 and is currently dancing with Jupiter—which is exalted in Cancer (the planet is a Universal VIP this year). Jupiter is extra potent in this sign, so the abundance pours in—despite the mayhem surrounding us. It’s an auspicious day to set or revive your intentions for abundance, send them off into the Universe, and/or take action toward them. FYI: Intentions for care and compassion, Cancer’s signature qualities, are more than welcome, too. Venus will accompany Jupiter in Cancer until August 25.

⚕️Chiron, the wounded healer, is retrograde in Aries too, as of Wednesday, August 30. A centaur, Chiron moves between the orbits of Saturn and Uranus. This may activate a perpetual wound you are called to heal. What is the medicine? Chiron is also known as the music teacher—I prefer this. How can we find harmony? What is the melody in what may seem discordant now? What happens when we learn to move with the rhythm of that which seeks to teach us?

🚦⛔We just survived a big energetic traffic jam. In between the Mercury cazimi (July 31) and the Venus-Jupiter conjunction, today, Mars and Saturn, the two malefics, made an exact opposition on this is like a galactic face-off. Mars also opposed Neptune, causing confusion and underscoring the veil between reality and illusion. However, Mars also made a harmonious trine to Uranus and Pluto this weekend, bookending the Aquarius full moon. I hope this proved as transformative as it promised. Mars continues in Libra, where it’s in detriment, until September 22. The key with this signature is balance. And now that Venus and Jupiter are conjunct, and Mercury is stationing direct, things loosen up for the next few weeks.

Saturn retrograde in Aries is in a harmonious sextile with Uranus in Gemini. This signature is super-supportive and a little exciting. These two outer planets rarely make an aspect to each other. Saturn is the planet of boundaries, discipline, karma, lessons, and the long-game. Uranus is the planet of disruption, breakthroughs, awakenings, and revolution. Take the opportunity to spice up your routine, inject some excitement into your well-laid plans or shift something that feels a bit too rigid. Observe any downloads.

Mercury in Leo sextiles Mars in Libra (TWICE!) – In the next week, we are gifted with two sextiles between the planet of information and the planet of action. This is courageous, communicative, get-the-answers, get-things-done energy. More green lights. Mercury is still in Leo because of its retrograde, so harness your inner authority and do the darn thing. Both Thursday, August 14, and Monday, August 18 (because Mercury was retrograde it retraces its path).

On the horizon: Eclipse season. We work differently with energy during eclipse season. Good to know: The new moon in Virgo, August 23, will be the last opportunity for ritualistic intention-setting via Luna’s cycle until October. More on that later.

In August we do sleep hygiene. Yes, it's technically still summer. But many of us will be settling into our fall routines sooner than you can say "Hell's Front Porch" (the season during which I started this). So—sleep hygiene.

When I was a high school teacher, I had a second job for three of my first four years. (During the first I was in the process of getting certified as lateral entry from journalism.) Waitressing was one of those jobs. Waitressing in the summer means working at night, and then going out afterwards, because there was no 5:30 am alarm clock.

Then comes August.

That's what my friend Coco and I (Lily) called Ambien. With the flip of a calendar, I had to be in bed by 10:30 again, a time when I would normally still be bussing tables and counting tips. Then up at 5:30 am. For much of the summer I wouldn't get home until 4:00 a.m. after driving across 40 East hoping all cars had their headlights on (a North Carolina Special.)

For two weeks before the first day of school, it was 1,2,3 Goodnight. That was my sleep hygiene. At that point, I would have still been downing bottles of wine after work to "manage" the emotions reflected by my students, the lives of whom I was still processing. No sleep hygiene for me. Walk the dog. Shower after my last cigarette. Brush my teeth again. 1,2,3 Goodnight.

My first journey with pills-for-sleep was around third grade. I'd always been a night owl, but perhaps then I was more anxious than normal. Who knows. My father introduced me to melatonin and progressive muscle relaxation.

It did not become a habit.

My teen years consisted of starting homework at 9:00 or 10:00 pm. Rearranging my bedroom furniture until 2 am. Or, while traveling to visit my father in South America, listening to the meece inside the walls, and watching movies or reading, waiting until dawn to fall asleep. In college, I would make hot tea and sit with it on the balcony once my big-ass underclassman dorm got quiet, and that’s when I would start my homework. I eventually made the pilgrimage to the library, using gas station drugs to stay alert, and study until it closed.

Sleep hygiene ranged from nonexistent to inconsistent until I started meditating in my 20s; until I had anxiety after 9/11 at the start of my journalism career; until I had a depressed beau; after my first year of teaching; until my great educator-mentor, Charlene, entered my life; until I quit smoking cigarettes; until I lived in a country where they don't change time twice per year—well, at all; until I had an autoimmune disorder; until I started seeing my acupuncturist, the Miracle Worker.

It’s sometime between 2009 and 2014. I’m on a plane, window seat, ofc. I can’t remember the destination, but I was living in either Southeast Asia or the Middle East—both Asia, let’s not make this confusing. There was a British documentary on sleep, so I was in. They covered ten tips for improving sleep, and one of them was about jet lag.

This is when I learned that sleep hygiene isn’t about the hour or two or three before bed—it’s about your entire day, and it starts at breakfast.

In western medicine, particularly the U.S. we are cure-focused. Find a solution. So science here promotes sleeping in a cold, dark room, not using our phones within an hour of bedtime, and not lying in bed awake for more than 15 minutes when we’re trying to fall back asleep. All correct, yes. But if human beings were that simple, we would not have evolved to lie unconscious for 7-10 hours while predators were roaming about.

So where does the jet lag come in?

Scientists found that when subjects did not eat during the flights, and waited until breakfast in the time zone in which they landed—at breakfast time in that time zone—it diminished the effects of jet lag. It reset their body clocks. Mind-blown. It might not work for 36 hours of continuous travel, but for a 15-hour flight? Doable.

Years later as a grant reviewer for an autoimmune foundation, we were privy to tons of the research. A lot of unknowns remained about the environmental triggers, but there was tons of research about our circadian rhythms: the damage done by crossing time zones, the influence of changing altitudes, the impact of the latitude in which we live. For instance, if I moved my child closer to the tropics now as a teen, she would take on the decreased risk the folks in that latitude have. If I move her closer to the arctic circle, she would take on the increased risk of the people living there.

There is so much nuance in where and when in relation to how our bodies respond.

So breakfast. At breakfast time. That’s your first tip. If American breakfast foods don’t resonate with you—try something savory. Baked potatoes, lasagna. In Asia, savory breakfast is the way: Pho or other noodles. Grilled pork with broken rice and egg was one of my favorites in Sai Gon. Maybe a breakfast burrito. If the kitchen isn’t your happy place or time is tight, large-batch baking and freezing works for me. Muffins. Banana bread. Sometimes that might be pie (two of them, I double everything, and freeze). The beauty of dessert for breakfast is that you have all day to burn those calories. If you eat seasonally, you might have yogurt, fruit, and granola, or just fruit in the warm season, and switch it up in the other seasons.

The point is, to eat something at “breakfast time” that signals to your body’s clock that the day is beginning and sets your metabolism in motion. If you are “intermittent fasting,” the recommendation would be to eat supper early, which is in line with both good sleep hygiene and Ayurvedic medicine. After all, your body should be resting during sleep, not working to digest food.

I am steadfast in my sleep hygiene today, with the exception of a few things out of my control. But if I hadn't taken an integrated approach, and tried to do it all at once, it would have been a disaster. So we're going to take it one step at a time. We may hop around, but today we're starting where we start our days: Breakfast. Sleep hygiene begins at breakfast.

Thank you to those of you have provided feedback and suggestions! It’s thrilling that we are helping each other expand.

I hope to see you for a workshop or session soon. It’s exciting to receive your referrals. Please keep them coming. You receive 20% off of a service for recommending other co-creators (excluding packages and memberships).

I look forward to your questions and suggestions.

Peace & loving kindness 💚
Lex